Every week I get messages from you asking for suggested books for unique your family situation. By far the most common request I’ve received is for books that help prepare your children for a new child joining your family via adoption. I promised I’d find you some and my friend Stacy shared this a few weeks ago I knew it was what some of you are looking for!
Just Right Family: An Adoption Story, written by Sylvia Lopez, illustrated by Ziyue Chen, published 2018. Chinese adoptee Meili thinks her family is “just right” and is confused when her parents want to bring another member into their family. Why do they need to change when everything is going great? Meili and her parents discuss how adopting a sister will change their family, but that growth is good. As they prepare to bring home their new child from Haiti, Meili has a chance to learn how she can be part of this exciting change and when they finally welcome her sister home, she’s ready for their families NEW “just right”.
This book is sweet. I love that it features a multi-racial couple and encourages ongoing dialogue about adoption with our kiddos, but the thing I like best is the language! Instead of saying their family is “meant to be” (which implies that a child was “meant” to be separated from their first family) they use language that leaves room for more than one “right” way. Adding children to your family might be scary, especially for your kiddos, but it’s not wrong- there is just a new normal. We need to try to understand their perspective to see past their unkind words to the deep worries and questions about an unknown future and potentially scary change.
The book models making the child part of family growth. All members need to prepare for a new family member- via birth or adoption! Just as parents take classes, read books, and connect with others in the adoption community, children need a chance to prepare their hearts and physical space for change. I also love the language of the parents looking in their hearts and also the focus on the child’s needs as opposed to the parents desires. I feel like when an adoptive parent (AP) writes it can be really easy to focus on their deep wish for a child, and then in books it can come across as very AP centric. What are your thoughts on the language in Just Right Family?
I completely recommend this for your family. Loved it and I hope you do do. If you order HERE it helps me continue reviewing and posting new books. I do not own rights to or offer any type of guarantee for these purchases, but I appreciate that when you purchase through clicking these links, it keeps the reviews coming without breaking the bank. Find more books on this topic here, and view my Shopping Pages for more easy links for great books for your family. All the books I link to here are books I recommend. I care too much about your family and the complexities of adoption to suggest books that I think are unhelpful.
Lots of love from our just right family to yours,
Lanaya
