I spent the last few waking hours of 2018 reflecting on the year. It was a lovely way to spend my evening, and fits it with my quiet, simple way of ringing in the new year. I was inspired to create this list by posts I saw on my friends’ insta stories. At first I thought, it was nice for them, but I wouldn’t do that. Then I got to wondering what the highlights of my 2018 would look like. As I began thinking of the year and looking through photos, I was amazed at my productivity and what God had accomplished in our home and family! I was astounded at our family’s fruit in what I have considered a very hard year. I was also really surprised by my revelations, since usually I consider myself an optimistic person, with good self-awareness and contentment in my flaws and talents. (I might need to reconsider this evaluation of myself considering my reactions…). For the last several months, I have been making comments to Shawn about how scary it is that God has entrusted us with so much, and those sentiments keep ringing in my head as I worked through the list of what we DID do instead of what I wish I had done. Apparently, I was thinking the year was a wash, and it turns out God did awesome things with my life this year. It’s amazing what obedience and hard work really do accomplish when we set our eyes on eternity, but maybe looking back once in a while is what my soul needs for encouragement.
January – visited our agency to officially get the ball rolling on adoption #3 (don’t get too excited, it’s another 3 year process). I also started a systematic purge of my storage room and “office” in order to downsize to living in half of our home.
February – After swearing off home renos for at least a year
last September, we started a big renovation in our basement to make it into a
space where my sister could still live here AND begin fostering. We
committed to this renovation so our family could continue to live in community
and open our home to children in foster care whose parent’s need support to thrive
in parenthood. I continued organizing and giving away things in my home we
weren’t immediately using.
March – I am simultaneously cursing home renos and feeling
incredibly grateful for the ways God can use our home. I kept telling myself
it would all be worth it as we did late night flooring work and wrote cheques
to our contractor.
April – We completed the basement reno! And I swore off renovations for at least a year again… But we are not good at that and have been puttering around on various projects in an attempt to live in our much smaller space in a semi organized fashion.
May – We finally started play therapy for our sweet Coraline.
It’s been both insanely hard and healing. I am so thankful that we are
financially able to do this. They warned me it would get “worse” before it got “better”
and although there have been many challenges, I am SO proud of her! She is a
brave and compassionate girl. We also finished our part in our adoption
application. Whew! In many ways it was our hardest home study yet.
June – I loved the sunshine and had our very first family
holiday that was genuinely relaxing and NOT more work than staying home. Yay
for 5 year olds!!
July – I enjoyed the lack of routine and we tried to just
enjoy not having a set schedule a lot of days. Shawn worked a lot but we made
the best of summer.
August – I started Adoption Themed Books reviews and have been blown away by the response. It is exciting when we see a need, and our filling it is met with such encouragement. It has been work and it has been rewarding.
September – I was both thrilled and despondent over Lucy
beginning kindergarten. I am so proud of her for the grace with which
she has met this new challenge. I was ready for a break from parenting 24/7 but
I missed her so much. She is a good friend, and it is so fun to see her thrive
at school.
October – We visited Cora’s birthplace, Taiwan, for the first
time since she came home. It was both insanely hard and beautifully healing. I
am so grateful to be able to do this financially and we are so proud of Cora’s
beautiful birth culture. Shawn achieved his 2nd Class Power
Engineering and I am SO PROUD of him! All the work he’s done so he can be a
present parent, we can rest in financial stability, give generously, and grow
our family through adoption,
November – I realized how terribly I had been taking care of myself in my attempt to care for myself and I reached out for some hard healing myself. It was really difficult to fight through figuring what I needed and opening up in ways I hadn’t before. But I found community, asked for help, and I am better for it. I also became a auntie 2 more times through fostercare. I am so thankful for all our hard work to open our home to these beautiful boys and our hearts to their mama. It is beautiful when we can build a bigger table and God opens up our prayers for people who’s lives are different from our own. Our little home houses 7 humans and I am grateful for this privilege.
December – I reflected on how beautiful and difficult my year
was! I gave myself grace. I celebrated the victories. I let go of the losses. I
got connected. I rejoiced in my identity in Christ, and the beauty he makes
from my struggles. So thankful to be able to look back on the year and see what
has been accomplished and look forward to a new year!!
I am not one for new year’s resolutions, or words for my year, or making many goals. But this might become a new tradition. I am passionate about enjoying life, being grateful and focusing on what matters for eternity and I think this little task was good at resetting that focus. I am not sure what this year will hold, but whatever happens I want it to be full of happiness because of hardship, thankfulness poured out in generosity, joy in the sacrifice of time, space and resources, and most of all celebrating what God is and has done.
